• Lydia Mattison

The Art of Worry

Updated: Aug 7, 2019

With my client’s permission, I thought I would share this wonderful exercise I gave her as “homework!” During our session she had realized that she had developed a pattern of worrying and frightening herself at times with her thoughts. I asked her to pretend that I came from another planet, where worrying was not the custom and if she would be willing to explain to me how I might worry and how I could develop into the “best worrier.”

She took the assignment home and told me it was the strangest, but most fun thing she had done.... Below is her homework she brought back to our next session.

5 Guidelines That Will Aid Even the Hopelessly Happy in Effective Worrying

Given the awful polluted world we live in, coupled with the fast paced lives that technology has forced us to lead and exacerbated by decline of traditional wholesome values, it is imperative that we all aim to achieve a firm grasp on the art of worrying. For without indulging in total and complete worry, how else are we to cope with all the demands of this world?

The physical benefits of worrying are numerous: we never waste time sleeping too much, we maintain a serious demeanor (which people commonly associate with intelligence) as well as preventing you from eating too much. Absolutely great: you can become efficient and slim, all while looking intelligent, just from worry! While reading this have you begun to worry that perhaps maybe you won’t be able attain the coveted zen like state of absolute worry? If you have, then my friend, you are already on the true path. If not however, the following guidelines will attempt to help you in your quest.


Any sort of sleepwear is acceptable; it would be preferable to choose any clothing that does not flatter your body type. Having positive ideations about your physical appearance will only serve to deter you from focusing on the possible cancers and/or or diseases that could be inhabiting your body at this very second. Keep in mind that pretty clothes are just a ruse designed to distract you from the inevitable signs of aging: sallow skin, graying hair, weight gain, and (I think the best) all the sagging wobbly bits.


Now that you have donned your worry uniform, the next step involves placing yourself in an environment conducive to worry; such as a dark untidy bedroom. Of course no one else will be in this special worry sanctuary. Remember that isolation is an integral part of allowing the any small worry to fester into full blown deep seated worry and anxiety. Spend several hours in your worry sanctuary doing nothing except focusing on that which you are worrying. Do not do any other useful tasks and resist the urge to tidy up your surroundings. These activities will produce endorphins and will only counteract all the hard work you have already done.


Self help books, saccharine TV preachers, overly zealous friends and family members….even Miley Cyrus music.. will all try to dissuade you from the ever reliable comfort that only true worry offers. I like to refer to these as worry vampires…sucking the worry out of any situation. Be on the lookout for these vampires. Guard your brooding moments with your life.

2. DRINK LOTS OF COFFEE and worry friendly foods. Now that you have prepared your external environment such that it will be conducive to worry, it follows that we must now turn our attention to the foods that we put into our bodies so it will operate at maximum worry efficiency. Foods that slow down our metabolic rates such as fried foods and foods that cause our blood sugar levels to spike such as sweets and cakes all aid our bodies in worry. These foods help us two-fold: not only do these foods affect our body chemistry but, over time, they alter our physical appearance. Isnt’ that wonderful? Overtime eating these foods will cause expanding waistlines, a sense of remorse, shame, premature aging, guilt…all perfect worry catalysts! Caffeine will help to curb your need to waste time sleeping.

1. Whatever you do…..DO NOT SMILE

This should be self explanatory. No matter what the circumstance it is imperative that your demeanor of worry be maintained.

I sincerely hope that this article will help you to become a better worrier and to overcome any obstacles that may prevent you from worrying.

All my best,


My client, by exaggerating and looking through the steps and her process for worrying, was able to break it down into parts. She became aware of all the behaviours, thoughts, feelings that helped contribute to her worrying and in this way could now see that she could make more empowering choices. This exercise was fun, engaging, playful, resourceful and extremely beneficial for the client.

#lifestyle #decisionmaking #empowering,space #anxiety

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