• Lydia Mattison

Selfullness vs Selfishness

Updated: Aug 19, 2019

Knowing others is intelligence, knowing Yourself is true wisdom..…Lao Tzu

How do we embark on a journey of self discovery?

Here are a few stepping stones that are keys to unlocking this puzzle called YOU.

SELF KNOWLEDGE - the better you know yourself, the better you can live with authority and authenticity. It teaches you about your likes and dislikes, your inner strength, your values. It helps you discern what is purposeful vs pointless. The better you know yourself the more you will trust your own wisdom.

SELF AWARENESS - the practice of becoming aware of your thoughts, beliefs, behaviours, reactions through self observation. Becoming an observer in our lives helps us become aware of the changes we want to make and what behaviours, habits, reactions, beliefs, perspectives may need to shift. It helps us observe where our attention of focus automatically goes. You cannot change what you do not see. Self awareness is a practice and through inquiry we increase the power of our self observation.

SELF ACCEPTANCE is accepting yourself despite who "You think you are.” It is being loving and happy with yourself right NOW. Most of us learned how to judge ourselves and not how to see ourselves. All throughout life we have been fed judgments, by parents, relatives, teachers, co-workers and we have taken in this feedback as truth vs someone’s opinion. We have created our self image and identity around these judgments - what I can and I can’t do, who I am and who I am not. Self acceptance is an agreement with yourself to appreciate, acknowledge, validate, accept and support who you are at this very moment, even those parts you’d like to eventually change.

SELF LOVE is learning to speak to ourselves gently, tenderly and with compassion vs constantly judging and criticising ourselves on the inside.

As women we have been taught to deflect praise, we apologize for our accomplishments, we downplay our brilliance to level the field so that we do not shine out. We keep ourselves small because we are concerned with what others may think. We have compromised our dreams and completely lost ourselves in roles for fear of being called the dirty word “selfish.”

It is time to jump out of the passenger’s seat and become the driver, take control of your life. Shift your perspective from “selfishness” to “selfullness.” Learn a new distinction which will open up so many more opportunities and possibilities for your life.

SELFULLNESS is taking the time to rediscover your true self, bringing your essence to everything you do. It puts your spirit into action. It is self feeling fulfilled. When we transform from the inside, we cannot help but transform our outer world, and make a difference in a purposeful way.

It is no coincidence that when we are traveling on an airplane they tell us to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before attending to your children or anyone else. Taking care of yourself first, you then have the energy to take care of others.

  • What do you most respect about yourself?

  • What are your strengths, talents and gifts?

  • What makes me good in my relationships?

  • What have I mastered about living life well?

  • What special lessons has my life taught me?

  • What do you most love about yourself?

#selfacceptance #lifestyle #empowering.space

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